Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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