u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
