Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
