i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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