she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
