i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
