Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
