No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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