Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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