I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
So vagazzling was a success
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
