then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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