you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
