So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
