He asked to "fluff my boner.."
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
