so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize