Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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