i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize