You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
