Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
