party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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