Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
