I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize