I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
