this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
There's always time for handjobs
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
