Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Im part way to drunk.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
