if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
