Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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