dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
