did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
