when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
