I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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