i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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