I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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