oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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