I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize