she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
The beer is more important than you right now.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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