new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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