I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Let's get the cat blown out
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
