The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I cockslap morals
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
