STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
