Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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