member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
