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He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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