38 yer olds are good kisserssss
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
