Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
