I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
BRING THE BAGELS
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize