i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
