DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Randomize
