i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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