Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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