i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
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