Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
porn star boner night. come get it.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
