And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
you told grandpa to call you daddy
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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