Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Fuck appropriateness.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
