What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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