Me. At least after what I've been through.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
