IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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