He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
