i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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