On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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