turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
