jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
