I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
