Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
