Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
