Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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