R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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